Hello Nataliai. Your introduction paragraph is quite unclear. It didn't state your thesis. For your first body paragrath, the aspect is clear but purly writen. You have quotes from the books. There is no topic sentence, you just start from the quote. For the second body paragraf, you have topic sentance. You write very little. Conclusion dosn't go with the introduction it's not clear. The essey need to be 3 pages long, you need to do more work, and you have no works citid page.
Hello there Natalia my name is Yesenia Perez, I'm in Prof. Van Slyck's honors novel class. i was assigned to review and comment your paper so i just wanted to let you know who i am and why im here. The criteria of what i am supposed to be looking for in your paper requires that the paper be at least three pages long which your paper does meet if you count the works cited and you did use outside sources and not just the internet. Your thesis satement was strong and reinforced by the paragraphs following it, and your citations and quote were clear and correct. However, you might want to make the introduction paragraph slightly longer because it takes away form the value of the intro.
Hello Nataliai.
ReplyDeleteYour introduction paragraph is quite unclear. It didn't state your thesis.
For your first body paragrath, the aspect is clear but purly writen. You have quotes from the books. There is no topic sentence, you just start from the quote.
For the second body paragraf, you have topic sentance. You write very little.
Conclusion dosn't go with the introduction it's not clear.
The essey need to be 3 pages long, you need to do more work, and you have no works citid page.
Hello there Natalia my name is Yesenia Perez, I'm in Prof. Van Slyck's honors novel class. i was assigned to review and comment your paper so i just wanted to let you know who i am and why im here. The criteria of what i am supposed to be looking for in your paper requires that the paper be at least three pages long which your paper does meet if you count the works cited and you did use outside sources and not just the internet. Your thesis satement was strong and reinforced by the paragraphs following it, and your citations and quote were clear and correct. However, you might want to make the introduction paragraph slightly longer because it takes away form the value of the intro.
ReplyDeleteHi Yesenia. Thank you for your comments on my research paper. I will use what you said to help me with my final draft.
ReplyDelete